American Idol S02E11 - Top 32: 4th Group of 8

one last time, 8 perform, 2 move on to the top 10, 6 move out.

tonight, we see Sylvia Chibiliti, Chip Days, Juanita Barber, Patrick Lake, Nasheka Siddall, Josh Gracin, Ashley Hartman and Corey Clark.

ryan asks the viewers if his equipment is good. desperate. ryan's a bit funny. randy added playa to his vocabulary, and lost three hundred bucks in about 3 seconds.

1) sylvia - "didn't we almost have it all" by whitney houston. what kind of a last name is chibiliti? she wants to be a diva, so she sings whitney. ugh. her mouth is really big, and when she elongates it, you can fit like five burgers, one on top of the other inside of it. flat, uninspired, not original, quite boring. she needs enunciation classes. just bad. yeah, it was shouty. so long as she disagrees...

2) chip - "a song for you" by donny hathaway. chip days? really? that can't really be his name. hand gestures... so corny... terrible song. not as bad as sylvia, but still bad.

3) juanita - "what about the children" by yolanda adams. the girl hercules sang to in hollywood. she's ugly as hell. just terrible. hand gestures. not in a single note in tune. just awful. awful song too. i thought that after the judges put you in the top 32, you won't be a complete idiot towards them. she talks back, and she's a moron. the only thing she actually said was "you don't know". "do you know who i am? i'm juanita, i can sing, i made itthis far' BECAUSE THE JUDGES, who you claim don't know nothing, PUT YOU THROUGH!!! i hate her.

4) patrick - "when i see you smile" by bad english. he has a beard pony-tail. the fraude sings a song called "when i see you smile". if he wasn't a fraude, he'd sing something like "when i see you smile i want to rip every single one of your teeth out". or something like that. ROCK N ROLL!!! lol... he brought a "mic" that wasn't connected to anything to his first audition. dumbass. sell out. sounded kinda alright, but it was soooo not rock 'n' roll... he should blink once in a while.

5) nasheka - "open my heart" by yolanda adams. nasheka? NASHEKA? she's kinda pretty. voice doctor? what's that? second yolanda adams song, in a stage where mos songs are stevie and whitney numbers. zero stage presence. vocally ok. i guess the voice doctor (?) did a good job. quite an abundance of bum notes, but still alright. she talks back. why would she talk back?

6) josh - "i'll be" by edwin mccain. the marines are here. he went country at the end, and i think it was a good choice. sounded pretty good. he makes a wierd shape with his mouth when he sings. a couple of those long notes should have been done with a vibrato, but other than that, good. best so far, but i guess that's not saying much today. simon's question looks staged to up josh's popularity... oh, and he didn't salute this time, and that's an improvement.

coca cola commercial - boring...

7) ashley - "touch me in the morning" by diana ross. is that song like asking someone to have sex in the morning? she's pretty. too high a key, not for her, but for the song to be enjoyable. didn't really like it. a bit painful. again, not necessarily because it was bad, but it was sooo high. it's so cute how she's shy. lol at simon's comments. how can paula decide she can act by her performance? whatever...

8) corey - "foolish heart" by journey. the hair with the man growing on it's bottom. ryan's funny! he sounds like a wuss. wasn't simon the bass player for journey? oh, right, it was randy! HAND GESTURES!!!! AAAAAHHHH!!!!!! he looks like a "bar-mitzvah and wedding" singer. it wasn't as good as paula and randy thought. it was a'ight. better than most, but again, that's not saying much...

1. josh

2. corey

3. nasheka

4. patrick

5. chip

6. ashley

7. sylvia

8. juanita

p.s. - joining the bad name parade - nasheka, chip and miss chibiliti.

American Idol S02E10 - Top 32: 3rd Group of 8 Results

once more, 2 move on to the top 10.

WHAT IS VANESSA WEARING?!?!?!? OMG!!!

some audio problems to start the show. instead of hearing what ryan says, we hear that paula's playing with simon's nipples, or something like that... finally, we here what we're supposed to hear.

kelly! and justin... kelly looks sooo worn-out. oh god, they do a love duet... justin still sounds like a chick. he looks pissed as he sings. it really isn't good.

recap

samantha's not top 3. vanessa is. jordan isn't. lou isn't. hercules, i.e. rickey, is. george isn't. equoia is top 3, kimberly isn't. out of the three kimberly/ey's, just 1 is through so far, the other two might be in the wildcard round.

something happened between the judges+ryan. i dunno. vanessa's in the top 10. she shakes her booty. and here i was thinking this is a family show...

about half the people that cared to vote agree with simon the most. the least amount of people agree with randy the most, and that isn't that surprising, due to the fact that to agree with some one you have to understand him. "dawg, dude, man, baby, it was a'ight...." huh?

hercules is top 10! rickey does a little monologue, kinda amusing. and he sing. he should sing in a lower key if he doesn't want people thinking he's a girl...

American Idol S02E09 - Top 32: 3rd Group of 8

once more, 8 perform, america votes, 2 move on to the top 10.

tonight we'll see Kimberly Kelsey, Jordan Segundo, Vanessa Olivarez, Rickey Smith, Samantha Cohen, Lou Gazzara, Equoia Coleman and George Trice perform.

ryan's gone into the "so desperate it's disgusting" category, in case you were keeping score.

slo-mo ryan man-dwich. PRICELESS!!!

let me start by saying that the audio in the recording i watched was absolutely dreadful. everything i say about the vocal aspects of the performances might be completely wrong, but then again, that's always the case, so... moving on!

1) kimberly - "it's all coming back to me now" by celine dion. hand gestures!!! hated the song. and really, why would you sing a celine dion song? i guess it was kinda ok. there are too many kimberly/kimberley's in the top 32...

2) jordan - "for your love" by stevie wonder. with a last name "segundo", the best he could hope for is second place, right? with a performance like that, the best he could hope for is a ticket home, right? looked terrible. horrible hand gestures. sounded really bad. why was he grunting as ryan was giving his number?

3) vanessa - "out here on my own" by irene cara. WHAT is she wearing? no excessive hand gestures, which is good. sounded ok. i dunno... i was too distracted by what she was wearing, to notice anything else. bleh. simon's "not being rude" again... keith's back! sorta...

4) rickey - "one last cry" by brian mcknight. HERCULES! HERCULES! hand gestures... the vocal coach told him not to, but he still did. sounded good. not great. i dunno... randy was right, the ending was pretty good.

5) samantha - "something he can feel" by aretha franklin. another jewish one! WOOHOO! the skinny white jewish girl is singing a big black woman's song. huh? her whole "performance" was just... dreadful. really... the head movements, the squinting/winking thing, the shapes she made with her mouth, the hand movements. just, ugh... vocally ok. 

6) lou - "how am i supposed to live without you" by laura branigan. he has a mob informant's name. he can tapdance, and is a cheerleader. he sings a wuss song, which isn't meant to be sung by a guy. zero emotions, zero stage presence. hand gestures. ARGH! the falsetto was terrible. 

7) equoia - "the way we were" by barbara streisand.  who calls their daughter equoia? she's not related to candice, is she? both of their last names are coleman... she's the one with the crutches! she's a wimp. i know you can't really say that about a girl, but still. a streisand song? why? she smiles way too much. hand gestures. STOP IT!  she somehow manages to smile and look sad throughout the song. the falsetto was really really bad. not that good. she then decidedto talk about how awesome this group is... that just demoted her to worst yet.

coca cola commercial - they do some gymnastics/cheerleading things. then drink some coke, and rickey burps. yawn

8) george - "unchained melody" by the righteous brothers. he sings simon's favourite song. this is going to suck. hated it. i don't know what was worse - the constant breathing noises, the hand gestures, putting his your hand on his stomach, hir the fact that he has one earring on each ear. i guess it was alright, but i hated it.

that michael on the piano thing was disturbing.

1. vanessa

2. rickey

3. kimberly

4. samantha

5. george

6. lou

7. jordan

8. equoia

p.s. - equoia joins the wierd names circle. i thought about adding lou gazzara, aka lou the wrench, everyone's favourite mob executioner, but i dunno...

American Idol S02E08 - Top 32: 2nd Group of 8 Results

two more to the top 10, 6 more out of lives for good.

recap

these 8 also had a viewing party. yay. apparently, ryan used to think simon was sexy. ugh.

jennifer isn't top 3. an she's shocked! candice isn't either. she isn't shocked. ruben is top 3. rebecca isn't. clay is. he's a bit overwhelmed. jacob isn't top 3. ryan's british accent sucks. hadas isn't top 3, kimberley is.

ruben's in the top 10. we get another ryan sandwich. FUNNY! ruben sings.

most of america, or at least the people that cared enough to vote, thinks simon sucks.

kimberley's in to the top 10, clay isn't. kimberley sings.

American Idol S02E07 - Top 32: 2nd Group of 8

once again, eight perform, 2 get through to the top 10.

tonight, Clay Aiken, Candice Coleman, Rebecca Bond, Jacob John Smalley, Hadas Shalev, Ruben Studdard, Kimberley Locke, and Jennifer Fuentes sing.

i don't know what's going on any more... ryan's getting kinda funny and good at hosting. i guess the dunk was pulling him down? omg... the horror that was, and still is, simon cowell...

1) clay - "open arms" by journey. didn't i use to play bass for journey? oh right, it was randy! the banjo playing in the background of his intro was funny. he has such a great voice. i couldn't find anything really worng with his performance. it was a tad bit loud, but i don't know if it's my equipment, the recording i watched or his singing. he just looks so non-pop-star-like... the hair conversation was kinda funny! in the american idol website, on clay's page, is the following question: "who is your least favourite judge and why?" clay's answer? "i'm not stupid enough to answer this question". LOL

2) candice - "Piece of my heart" by janis joplin. she's so cute. so cute. the song just doesn't work with just the piano backing her. just generally not that good. zero stage presence. the vocal coach was right, and they haven't really fixed it. sooo cute. didn't like it as much as the judges... ryan's still funny... wierd... she's so cute.

3) rebecca - "caught up in the rapture" by anita barker. wow, she has big lips... hated it. everything about it. the song, the way she sang it, the way she looked, that arabian princess type belt-thingy, the damn hand gestures. and she talks back. whoopee... she didn't really say anything to disagree with simon, though... paula tends to not know what she's talking about, so the guys usually get it right, assuming they agree with each other. i hate her (rebecca).

4) jacob john - "anytime" by brian mcknight. is his name really jacob john smalley? REALLY? he's such an ass kisser. hand gestures... never quite on pitch. hated the song. sooo boring. the falsetto was terrible. "i respect that... blah blah blah... i need that to grow... blah blah blah..." ass kisser. he has a pinky ring.

5) hadas - "you light up my life" by debby boone. hadas is jewish, so i like her more than others, just of the bat. the last bit of her intro was embarassing. she's kinda pretty. not much in the way of stage presence. some annoying hand gestures. it was alright. it's amnon, not amnan.

6) ruben - "superstar" by luther vandross. ryan's still amusing. ruben's big. he's good, too. despite the hand gestures. just might be the best yet. he and his brother crushed ryan. FUNNY! "who is your least favourite judge and why?" "simon. just because." lol...

7) kimberley - "over the rainbow" by judy garland. ryan's still kinda funny. why sing the same song three times? have you ever heard of versatility? that being said, she did great. just great. the hand gestures... but still, great. the last note was irritating. she talks back to simon. AND IT WAS FUNNY! best. talking back. ever. lol at everything that heppened AFTER she was done singing. EVERYTHING.

coca-cola advertisement - they box, pull pranks, punch simon's pictures. meh.

8) jennifer - "i wanna dance with somebody (who loves me)" by whitney houston. baaaaaaad song choice. pitchy throughout. just plain bad. terrible arrangement. hated it. everything about it. vary nasal-y.

1. kimberley

2. ruben

3. clay

4. hadas

5. candice

6. jacob john

7. rebecca

8. jennifer

p.s. - no wierd names or initials tonight, except for hadas, which isn't wierd for an israeli like me, and jacob john, which isn't a wierd name, but it is a bit wierd.

American Idol S02E06 - Top 32: 1st Group of 8 Results

two move on to the next round, 6 move on to obscurity.

recap, including a reminder, in case you've forgotten, that kimberly and julia are rivals.

the eight that sang the night before, had a viewing party, and saw themselves perform. that's a big ass screen. no one fell asleep, no one came to the realization that they suck.

ryan's funny! omg

trenyce isn't top 3. neither is patrick. julia is. bettis isn't. kimberly is. oooh... the rivalry continues! meosha's not top 3. everyone's rooting for one another. yeah, right... charles's top 3. jd isn't.

1st one in the top 10 is charles, which conveniantly pits julia and kimberly against each other for the final spot in the top 10. now they make us hear charles sing again. hand gestures. ugh. 

the three judges think kimberly's through. and they're wrong. julia's top 10, kimberly isn't. julia sings, and then kimberly sings/does a group hug-n-sing with the other 7, to prove they are all best of buds!

American Idol S02E05 - Top 32: 1st Group of 8

now it gets interesting!

tonight, Kimberly Caldwell, Patrick Fortson, JD Adams, Trenyce, Meosha Denton, Bettis Richardson, Charles Grigsby and Julia DeMato perform, and two of them will move on, depending on how america votes. what a surprise, the producers put kimberly and julia in the same group. it's like they are stll arch-enemies! whatever.

ryan's single, for those of you that are into things like him. the judges aren't really funny. the poor contestants are interviewed by the press. and then have a photoshoot. boohoo. 

1) kimberly - "come to my window" by melissa etheridge. she looks great. she's hot. don't know about the song choice. omg... the hand gestures are back. ARGHGH!@$@#%!@!!!!! she sounds alright.

2) patrick - "un-break my heart" by toni braxton. why the fuck would any guy pick that song? he doesn't look good, or classy, despite what he said in the intro video. never quite on pitch, for me. he shrieked all over the place.  girly voice for the most part. fugly as hell. as long as simon's "not being rude", though... how could they let his father on stage? security? anyone?

3) jd - "all in love is fair" by stevie wonder. the president's here! and i'm so over it. i'm happy to see a guynot sound like a wuss. but he has no stage presence, and is just generally boring. hand gestures. and he really shouldn't smile that much. and we had more than our fair share of initialed people last season.

4) trenyce - "love sneakin' up on you" by bonnie raitt. trenyce is now unemplyed. hand gestures. AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!! she sounds pretty good. but i hated the performance. really. she shouted a bit. and was too growl-y. it ain't sexy if it's always there. paula's in love with her. any other two women in that situation, it's hot. these two after what we just saw, not so much.

5) meosha - "how do i live" by leann rimes. meosha? who calls his/her daughter meosha? didn't realize her only two career options are singing or frog-dissecting. didn't really perform at all. pitch-y, for me. didn't look that good. that falsetto part was just plain bad.

6) bettis - "thank you" by boyz ii men. bettis decided to indulge us with a boyz ii men song. wtf? come to think of it, maybe he did choose the right song. his whole performance stunk, boyband style. for future reference, if you want to succeed on american idol, don't dance. he wiggled his eyebrows. ugh. disgusting. he didn't sing a single note in tune. newsflash: bettis did blow it, and none of them are going to "make it no matter what". they are going to make it if they are good, and doing badly in this competition will only hurt them. he should really, really, really stop moving his eyebrows. really.

7) charles - "overjoyed" by stevie wonder. WHAT IS HE WEARING? pajamas? neo-soul with hip-hop flavour. is that code for boring. HAND GESTURES!!!! ARGH!!!@#&%$!!!! just ok, for me.

coca-cola commercial: group song?!?!?! written by patrick!?!?!?!? whatever...

8) julia - "son of a preacher man" by dusty springfield. she and kimberly are best buds now! of course they are... she's a hair-dresser. i don't think she blinked once during her performance. a very good song choice for her. she's kinda ugly... sounded good. her hand gestures weren't excesive like most, but they were out of place.

1. trenyce

2. julia

3. kimberly

4. charles

5. jd

6. meosha

7. patrick

8. bettis

p.s. we had three wierd names and one guy went by his initials.

American Idol S02E04 - Hollywood Week

time to get cranking! from 200 down to 32.

friday the 13th - oooooooo..... (that big black dude, ruben, looks so chillaxed, while everyone else are having a nervous breakdown.)

earlier that week, everyone arrives at hollywood, and are very excited. the contstants see tony bennett, aka the britney spears of his time, at the airport.

groups of ten get on stage, one by one they say why they're the next american idol and sing a cappella. frenchie's kinda fll of herself, sings the same song she sang at her auditions, and is still over the top. gay marcus "proposed" to paula. the morgan twins are idiots. this is a solo competition! still perfect sync. patrick's "rock 'n' roll". he's such a fraude. the one after patrick is a fraude too. jayson is an idiot. candice's answer is the first real one. very nice, very funny. she's hot. some stupid jerks think they were born to be the american idol, even though this show has only been on for a single season, thus far. the morgan twins are out. that girl that jumped for joy when she was told to step forward is a moron. she's outta here! hercules is through!

those that are left get the tough task of composing a melody to one of the available sets of lyrics, in one night. this should be boring. joshua is still a stupid marine. he actually did well. daniel is a crooner. clay's good. eqouia's an idiot. why try and force the comparison? stephen failed. he stripped. failure. vanessa did well too. really good. krystal's gone country. a'ight. coffey's not good.

now the ones left split into groups of three, choose one of three songs to sing. marcus's still gay. "nothing short of amazing"? wow... some people are idiots, and want to go out. stupid motherfuckers. julia can't find her group. corey, the man and the hair, is an idiot, and decides to go out too. "rock 'n' roll" patrick's angry about guys wanting to party. ROCK N ROLL!!! julia's still waiting for her group. surprise, surprise. corey didn't get up to get on the bus. drama in kimberly caldwell and julia demato's group! stephen didn't wake up ether. SHOCKER! more drama! ruben and rickey were good. stephen's an idiot. some people forget the lyrics. a dude looked like mickey mouse. the fraude that is patrick lake sings seal with lethear spike-y bracelets. dude... corey sounds like a girl. and he goes up to paula to "serenade to her", without actually singing anything. the group with the two partygoers look like three "singers" taken off the street and put together on stage. stephen over did it by about THIS MUCH. marcuss is gay. and a brown-noser. frenchie dyed her hair red. the two bigger ladies, kimberley and frenchie, couldn't find a third member to their group, so their singing just the two of them. wow. just, wow. someone's pissed at the gay dude, marcus. "to hell with them, hi america!" HI AMERICA!?!?!?! nooooo, he's not a brown-noser! some girls forget the lyrics. the last one on that montage is a dumbass. the drama filled group was good. two guys that partied and brown-noser are through. the other guy that partied and the crooner are out. hercules, a dancer, he president and the fraude are through. a row of girls we don't know are out. kimberley and frenchie are through. julia and kimberly are through. another row of girls we don't know are out. the last row are through. ammee is the birthday girl, she's crying, and she's going home. the crooner is crooning. *forced drama ahead*

kimberly (not one of the two we've already seen) is alright. some more are good. hercules! he's very good, and not old at all. joshua the marine makes a wierd shpe with his mouth when he sings. candice's cute. a bit shouty to start. the fraude  is a fraude. julia and her arch-nemesis (that's what the producers want us to think), kimberly. she's quite good. and hot. the president and the big guys, frenchie and ruben. marcus sucks. the contestants are split into three rooms, with two of those rooms moving on to the top 32 (?). room one: kimberly (the arch-nemesis), the marine, hercules, vanessa, ruben, the cutie - candice, bettis, the hair, the frenchie. they're through! room two: brown-noser, party boy, stephanie. they're out. a girl cries out loud. COL? gay guy's pissed. and an idiot. julia, the fraude, seqouia, sorry, i mean eqouia, the president are in room three, and are through. and this is where it stops. for me, in this episode, that is. no idea what happened till the end of this ep. seeya next time.

apparently, these are the guys that made it through:

Kimberly Caldwell, Patrick Fortson, JD Adams, Trenyce, Meosha Denton, Bettis Richardson, Charles Grigsby, Clay Aiken, Candice Coleman, Rebecca Bond, Jacob John Smalley, Hadas Shalev, Ruben Studdard, Kimberley Locke, Jennifer Fuentes, Kimberly Kelsey, Jordan Segundo, Vanessa Olivarez, Rickey Smith, Samantha Elizabth Cohen, Louis Gazzara, Eqouia Coleman, George Trice, Sylvia Chibiliti, Chip Days, Juanita Barber, Patrick Lake, Nasheka Siddall, Josh Gracin, Ashley Hartman, Corey Clark.

American Idol S02E03 - Atlanta & Nashville Auditions

one last auditions episode, or is it?

paula won't be in the atlanta auditions, which means it'll take about 12 hours less, since we don't get her constant droning and rambling.

ATLANTA - 

nickie can kinda sing, but it's too affected. she's through. johnny sucks. omega sucks. she can't sing, can't dance. she can shout though, and i guess that's a good thing. she's an idiot. clay's so awesome, it's wierd. he's definetly (that looks wrong) NOT a crooner. he's confident, he's a nerd, and he can sng very well. that's just so wierd. he shouted the song, kinda, but it was still good. he's through. and ryan's back to his gay, stupid self. some people get angry, cause they suck. other people just suck. joshua's one of them. of both groups. maria's song is awesome! she's not a good singer, but she's a good songwriter, at least judging from that song.  and she's through. mitchell's either gay, or hippie. or indian. i mean native american. he shouted. good voice. he's through. joshua's a bad ryan clone. and that all you need to know about his suckiness. didn't think he's as good as the judgs thought. he's through. vanessa sings bohemian rhapsody. let me say that again - VANESSA FUCKING SINGS FUCKING BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY!!! as expected with that song choice, it wasn't great. she can sing, but she needs to learn what song selection means. she's through. kieth sucks so bad, he could be a vacuum cleaner. he also has ZERO social sense (when a hot, gorgeous girl is being payed to talk to you, take advantage), ZERO talent, ZERO potential and looks like one of those computer geeks that only come outside one day of the year. and he sounds like one of them too. "i'm very entertaining and unique SNIFF". i'd say. he probably is a virgin. oh, and he can't dance. some more people suck. stephanie looks great and sounds great. she's through. 46 (!) are through. so ryan's a pedophile, but not gay?

NASHVILLE - 

paula's back. whoopee. lol at edwin. he sucks. beaver dude's crazy. some people suck. ruben's big. ruben's cuddly. ruben's good. lol at paula putting her hand forward. he's through. he's so shy and not overtly self-confident. ooooohhhhhhhh... ira's like 5. oooohhhhh... he sings about having sex. alden's full of himself. he can sing. he's through. the first one actually from nashville, amber, sucks. jeff's also from nashville. he also sucks. corey's sooooooooo full of himself. i hate him, and not only because he looks like justin guarini. he screams. he can kinda sing. he's through. kellee's through. kimberley's good. doesn't look good, by anyone's standards. but she sounds really good. rickey sounds like a wuss. a wuss that can sing, mind you. he's through. ROFLOL at his reaction! HERCULES! HERCULES! HERCULES! LOL 29 go through.

American Idol S02E02 - Los Angeles & Detroit Auditions

more auditions, more calamities, more awesomeness? let's see.

LA - 

kristin's still hot, in case you were wondering. i'm so sick of the ford commercials. why walk with the crutches after being bitten by a spider? that's just stupid. equoia, not sequoia, is kinda good. maybe the spider bite turned her into a super-singer, instead of a super-hero? not that she is super in any way. robert can't sing or dance. "i'm not being unkind". that's a new one, ain't it? some people forget the lyrics. but they can't sing anyway. ryan's comment to james was actually funny. way to go ryan! your first good joke! he can sing. james, not ryan. over the top, too many runs, but can sing. he's through. robyn's nice. her mother isn't. AI's appearantly not bogus, at least according to robyn's mom. omg, anthony's such a wuss. maybe he got his balls ripped off, or something. i can't think of another eplanation for a voice that high. he's a terrible singer. he's so smug, and thinks he's great. reality check time! is it raining fire? ryan had two (2!!!) funny jokes in this episode alone! carrie's good. good looking, good voice. good. daniel's a dumbass. how can you not know the words to your national anthem? SERIOUSLY! needless to say, he was horrible. "don't take it personally" "oh, please" "no, i mean it". two simonisms in a matter of seconds. joshua is another idiot. granted, not as big of an idiot as most of the rest, but still, leave the marching and saluting to when you are actually in uniform, and are required to do so. an o-town song? why not, huh? he can actually sing, and he's through. alyson, with a Y, has ocd. she's an ok singer. i think if randy would let her, she'll give "IT" to him, if you know what i mean... she's kinda fun. and she has "IT" too. eventually, she's through. some people suck. i can somehow understand the girls practicing in the bathroom, but the guys? gay. the forrest twins suck. everything about them suck. they can kinda sorta sing about ok and all, but they suck. one of them said "naiveve". they suck so bad. they need to forget about the singing lessons, and take grammer lessons. speak english! when someone starts by saying the judges can tell him/her that s/he's the worst in the world, you know the audition's going to be, the worst in the world. with a name like charm, how can he not be gay? guess what? he sucks too. and he's sensitive. i mean gay. dino sucks monkey balls. people shouldn't be dressed up gimmick-y. case and point - melody. over the top. but she can sing. the major reason she got through to the judges was the gimmick. she didn't need that. those that get through on gimmicks but can't sing are just wasting everyone's time. she's through. tarzan's gay. he's not good. he's through. some more people suck. jd's presidential! that's soooo not impressive. he can sing. waaaaaaay over the top. 44 are through.

DETROIT - 

bill sucks. and he thinks he's a larger black woman. not cool. antoine sucks. kelli sucks. dennis used to be a stripper, so he obviously sucks. he's also stupid. kewanna's good. over the top, but good. some people suck. WTF is teya wearing? and she brought a chair. not a good singer either. she put too much emphasis on performing, rather than singing. she's singing to a chair. candice looks good. don't like the tone of her voice. she can sing. she's through. michal's so full of shit. and himself. but that's really the same. ok, nuthin more. he's through. what's on her eyelashes? gross. karissia's her name, and she sucks. *forced drama ahead* some people suck. some people suck at dancing too. minaux's resemblances to elvis - none. he sucks. that hand lifting at the beginning had nothing to do with anything that happened on that day, anywhere. WOW! another funny ryan moment! this must be a world record! i guess losing that 160-pound mole known as the dunk really helped him! sleepey, i mean frederick, sucks. that fighter sucks. nicole. whatever. "i beg to differ" - you can't sound both respectable and angry. it's impossible. either tell him you're sorry he feels this way, but you think he's wrong, or KICK HIS ASS! she's stupid. and she just doesn't know when to shut up. * FORCED DRAMA* 22 move on

American Idol S02E01 - New York, Miami & Austin Auditions

we're back!!!

remember that beatiful time, not so long ago, when the audtions we're only on episode? well, thanks to the dear guys over at fox, we now get 10 hours of auditions, out of which, about 10 minutes are good. YAY!

paula's still rambling. kristin, the hot cheerleader that fell under he table after she got through to hollywood last season, is back as a "special correspondant", meaning she'll be there to listen to people say all sorts of wierd and unintelligeble (that's not right, is it?) things, and comfort them when they are told they suck. WOOHOO!

after his comment to paula, the one about not being excited by her naked in front of him, i think he might just not be gay after all...

NY - 

chriss sucks. who writes chris like that? janelle sucks. brad's an idiot. and he sucks. "at least i'm from a country where people brush their teeth twice a day" WTF?!?!?!?!? the morgan twins - wow... talk about sync... they're good enough for hollywood, but not to pass that, imho... they're through. that hug with kristin looked like it was lacking some meat. nathaniel's sooooo gay. that pants-skirt-thingy is wrong in so many ways. "everybody's pants go around like that" - because that's the definition of pants! "ummm.. a thong" -his answer to what he's wearing underneath. gross. oh so gross. he sucks too. literally. he's an idiot. "he's spent". doesn;t that dude with the teddy bear know that's a dragon? sheesh... those two girls that dated the same guy are idiots. CAT FIGHT! WHERE'S THE JELL-O???? kristen's too over the top. hollywood good, but not more than that. janine's better. and that scream was cute. why would paula bring that not-excited thing up? both are through. at least ryan's TRYING to get the two fighting, ripping clothes and all. christopher sucks. simon's nice today. "i don't want to be rude"'s back. julia's kinda hot. not really pretty. she can sing. she's through. simon scares the shit out of most everyone... danny, a cronner, is good, but commercial appeal? about zero. cynthia's crazy. and she sucks. she's funny. a brown-noser, but funny. we see some terrible auditions. tirrell's voice is good. he looks like a rapist/pedophile/stalker type guy. if the record company's want you, and "mr. luther vandaross himself" told you you have a good voice, why audition for this show? he's through. frenchie's big. really big. she's good too. really good. her voice's big. really big. way over the top. she's through. 34 total are through from nyc.

MIAMI - 

some awful auditions. mariah carey "look-alike" sucks. really badly. really, really, really bad. she might just be the worst yet. can you be considered a look-alike if you've had plastic surgery to look like the one you're a "look-alike" of? was heidi holding the golden ticket before the audition started? she's good. some enunciation problems, not necessarily wrong, but would be better some other way. simon called xtina "ugly-era". LOL. natalie's alright. not post-hollywood, though. the first in the "screaming girls" montage was really good looking. sean campos is asian, and wants to be an r&b star. nothing in that sentence made sense. i don't like his singing. he can sing though, so he's through. ryan's gay. that's for sure. edgar might be the worst yet. from the attitude, to the look, to the voice. victoria sucks. bechir's not good. but he's through. 20 are through.

AUSTIN - 

wusses sing badly. dana's not that good. but she is through. what would her family do had she not gone through? kimberly's hot. she's pretty too. and she can sing. and she's through. cedirc the entertainer's in da house. he's not through. obviously. are all the people from bulgaria naurally bad singers? that's the only way simon's comment would be even remotely possible. coffey, pronounced cafe, which means coffee, is'nt with his wife, where he should be, because he's not good enough to get to the top 10. waaay too many runs. jacob is average, for the idol auditions that is, and that means he's not that good. simon looked like he just found his new boy-toy. he's through. katherine's performance is affected with a capital A. she sings alright. she's through. patsy is terrible. horrendous. horrid. awful. 36 are through.

American Idol S01 - The Aftermath

so, what did our 10 finalists do since AI1?

ej day, that last second replacement of that dude that looked 12, but was really 29 - he co-wrote a song for a singer i never heard of before, and is now a singer on a cruise ship. WAY TO GO MAN!

jim verraros, that gay kid with the deaf parents - he had the same album released twice, one through an indie company, once mainstream, with two different names, actually had a top 25 Billboard Hot Club/Dance Chart hit, and starred in three, yes, 3, gay themed movies.

aj gil, that really annoying thing that had facial hair and sang like a wuss - ??? he doesn't even have a wikiedia page, so he probably went back to where ever the hell he's from, found a loving husband, and went back to working part-time at pizza hut.

ryan starr, the hot/cute/clumsy/makes her own clothes girl - appeared in two movies, three commercials and 24 (!) tv shows, including acting, interviews and hosting gigs. but what about music, you ask? didn't really do anything until she got out of her rca contract in 05, when she released "my religion", a single that got to number 1 on the US Billaboard Hot Digital Songs Chart. that single sol about 360,000 units worldwide, all exclusively on itunes. and she now has a band, Aces. pretty nice for a 7th place, i'd say.

christina christian, aka the girl simon had a crush on, and she didn't tell him she had a fiance - ??? again, no wikipdia page. she probably got married to her fiance, squirted out some kids, but recurring visits to the cowell mansion put a strain on her marriage, and she ended up getting a divorce and alimony.

rj helton, the bobbying wonder - ??? if you don't have a wikipedia page, how do you expect anyone to know anything about you? i'm certainly NOT going to do any digging up of info on you!

tamyra gray, the crazily talented, early booted girl that everyone thought would be a superstah - released an album that got to number 15 on the Top R&B/Hip-Hop Albums Chart. had a duet on kelly's debut album. co-wrote two songs and sang back-up on a jessica simpson album. wrote the AI3 winner's single, "i believe", which reached number 1 on the Billboard Hot 100. guest starred on 7 tv shows. went on broadway twice. appeared in 2 movies, and a song from the first ones soundtrack, performed by tamyra, toppd Billboard's Soundtrack Chart.

nikki, the one that nay or may not have been a stripper - left the karaoke business. joined a band for 4 monthes. released an album and 7 singles, neither of which really did anything significant. she appeard on five more reality shows. one of those was a celeb rehab show, where she was treated for cocaine and alcohol addictions, and another was filmed after she succesfully finished rehab and moved to a sober living enviroment.

justin, the hair, the hatred - had two albums, the first of those 2 reached number 20 on the Billboard Hot 200. was on that dreadful from justin to kelly movie. appeared on some shows and indie movies. is now a permanent host on idol wrap and idol tonight, and sometimes appears on other TV Guide Network shows, and other shows/networks.

kelly, the cute texan, the winner - now THIS is more like it! "According to Sony Music, Clarkson has sold over 20 million albums worldwide. Clarkson has had eight of her singles become Top ten hits on the Billboard Hot 100. Her first three albums sold over 9.5 million copies in the United States. In 2008, she joined VH1's list of 10 sexiest women of the new millennium at #8. She also hit #28 on Vh1's Top 30 Hottest Rock Front Women. As of 2008 she is one of the 10 most played artists on adult contemporary radio. Clarkson's fourth album titled All I Ever Wanted was released on March 10, 2009, and debuted at #1 on the Billboard 200. Her single, "My Life Would Suck Without You", advanced from No. 97 to No. 1 on the Hot 100 in its first week of release, breaking the record for the largest leap to the position in chart history. She is currently the only American Idol contestant to have reached number one in the UK. She claimed number one on March 1, 2009 when "My Life Would Suck Without You" debuted number one on downloads alone.

Clarkson has sold over 10.1 million albums in the United States, becoming the highest-selling Idol winner. According to Nielsen SoundScan, Clarkson is also ranked on the top 200 album sellers of the Nielsen SoundScan era at number 187.^{" - an excerpt from wikipedia. won 2 grammys, 4 AMAs, 12 billboard music awards, 3 VMAs, 2 people's choice awards, 5 teen choice awards, RS' 2009's most exciting album award. she has 2 multi platinum albums, 6 more platnium albums and singles, and 4 more gold albums and singles. not too shabby.}

American Idol S01E25 - The Finale: Top 2 Results

and then there was one. that is, that's what we'll say in an hour or so.

group songs extravaganza!

first off 60s medley. the girls start. cool. and then the guys. uncool. ryan does a hot solo. sexy. tamyra does a great solo. she's still as good as she always was. nikki does a "rock" solo. i'm so over her. any one miss aj? didn't think so. justin. i hate him. christina's not sick. and she sings. ej. EJ? oh right, he had the crazy hat on. and the girly voice. rj reprises what was probably his best performance as an idol contestant. KELLY! WHOOHOO! natural woman! whoohoo! again, brilliant. happy together? cause they're all best buds and all?

justin asks the audience to tell bryan what's it like stand on stage in front of the audience. that doesn't make any sense.

we get to hear justin sing that god awful song, to-be-winner's single, AGAIN. ugh. and no, niether the song nor justin has miraculously improved and gotten good over the past 24 hours. i'm falling asleep.

kelly sings that other piece of crap. she obviously sounds amazing. i just noticed her vibrato is mighty annoying in this song. hmmm. maybe annoying is the wrong word. it's kinda too quick, at least that's what i thought.

group songs! motown medley. everyone's doing dancing in the streets. they guys sing some song. then the girls. rj sings sugar pie honey bunch. nikki sings something. jim's back! and he's still singing to a baby! all together now! now just kelly! now just aj... :( and christina! and ej... adn justin serenades to tamyra. and she sings back. kelly signs a duet of "ain't no mountain high enough" with will young, that pop idol winner.

now, "best friends" k&j sing "it takes two".

the judges think kelly should win. who saw that coming, huh?

whoever won got 16% more than the other one. and the winner is... KELLY! she's so cute, with her comment's to everyone, everything she does while singing that boring crap known as "a moment like this".

and the last thing to happen on the first season of american idol? nikki sings kelly's last line. whoopee!

American Idol S01E24 - Top 2: The Finale

it's finally here - the finale!

we are treated to 3, count 'em, three songs a piece tonight (that should mean triple the pleasure with kelly, and triple the fuzz with justin), both sides of the double a-sided winner's single, and a song of the contestants' choice. so, in the words of marvin gaye, let's get it on!

we see j and k are already celebs. sorta. lol. paula called him justin garini. lol. 

round 1 - winner's single:

1) justin - "before your love" he smiles way too much during his performance. the song didn't really go anywhere or do anything. he sang it alright and all, but who cares? at least he didn't falsetto, or wobbnle his hair, which is an improvement over any of his other performances. it seemed to have gone on forever.

2) kelly - "a moment like this" she looks so classy. and cute. both songs suck big hairy monkey balls. this one slightly lss than the first, but still. and we see the difference between kelly and justin, other than the fun bags: kelly can sing anything, ANYTHING, and make it sound good. what's with the especially long songs?

first round winner: KELLY

round 2 - contestant's choice:

1) justin - "get here" by oleta adams. oh my god! it's the return of the falsetto! much better start than the previous time he sang this song. dude, when you reach for "someone" with your hand, don't wiggle your fingers. it reminds me of a ime when this girl i had a crush on, that she didn't know about, did that to me, as in a "playing with someones balls" reference. i know, don't even ask.

2) kelly - "respect" by aretha franklin. again, sooooooooooooo much better than justin. and she looks stunning. it was. i think, her best performance so far. and she looked so cute with that smile at the end.

second round winner: KELLY

coca-cola performance. justin's not funny. at all.

we see the original pop idol, the gay will young, with that snake like s (i can't remember how it's called). thanks to judgejru, i remember it's called a lisp. thanks. he then sings something, dunno what. he has a very prominent accent. everyone in the audience is dead silent, cause no one knows who he is. they eventually get a little bit into it. just a little bit. he also does something never before seen by a guy on american idol: he sings to the audience, not the camera. i'm still in shock. 

round 3 - winner's single 2: electric boogaloo

1) justin - "a moment like this" i'm bored. kelly did better. i don't think i've mentioned it, but i hate him. i really, really do. it really is a song for a female singer. maybe the producers sabotaged this whole thing? i'm not ruling it out, because every sane, non-12-year-olds should hate him. for the most part, i really hated his phrasing. he had a minor screw up on the last note. i hate him.

2) kelly - "before your love" she looks just a tiny bit chubby, and i love it. loved the dress too. again, much better than justn, both in this round and on this song. at times it sounded like she sang "i never livszszs". soooooooooo much better than justin. she's so darn cute.

third round winner: KELLY

overall winner: KELLY, by a knockout.

American Idol S01E23 - Top 3 Results

tonight we'll know which two contestants will sing at the finale.

recap

randy hsa so far called the girls man, dawg and dude, among other manly nicknames, and the boys baby, again, among other feminine nicknames.

group song. "love will keep us together" by captain and tennille. did paula choregoraphed it? in that "i will, i will, i will" part at the end, justin sounded like a girl...

ford commercial. makes fun of ryan, which is always a fun thing to do...

we get some filler! whoop-tee-doo! we see nikki's journey on idol, and we see zero progress from the first performance. they really need to pick a nickname for her and stick with it. resident rebel, resident rocker, comback kid. come on! she sings "black velvet", which she sang last night! ARGH! no change between those two performances whatsoever.

more filler! this time i's about everybody's most hated kid, justin! "star quality" doesn't mean he's a star, but that he could be one, or am i wrong? "excitement of the moment"? say what? like "heat of the moment"? i hate him. the shirt looks like it's leather, and that's seriously uncool. again, no difference between this performance and last night's. i still hate him.

ryan forgot to take his medication.

more filler! but it's on kelly-kelly-kelly, so it's ok. she just completely embarrased ryan. we see pieces of her performances, including the infamous shriek. she's still oh so cute. and she too sings a song she sang just the previous day. still great. she's so cute.

a question to the judges: "what does america need to do to get this vote right?"

randy: "they need to get it right"

paula: "someone has to go"

wow! really! i didn't know that!

simon: "they'll get it right if nikki's ass is thrown out to the curb" (i'm paraphrasing, but you know). finally, an actual answer.

kelly and justin are safe, nikki's going home. whateva. we see nikki's idol journey, FOR THE SECOND FUCKING TIME TONIGHT! paula's delusional. superstardom? and if nikki's performance of "ben" wasn't a sell out, i don't know what is. simon is being his usual irritating self. he praised kelly when asked about nikki. BURN!

Prison Break - The Lost Episodes

just got done watching the two left-over episodes of prison break, you know, the ones the producers decided not to show in the us, but release on the dvd, while everyone else everywhere got to watch it on tv, or will get to do so...

*SPOLIER ALERT**SPOLIER ALERT**SPOLIER ALERT**SPOLIER ALERT*

*SPOLIER ALERT**SPOLIER ALERT**SPOLIER ALERT**SPOLIER ALERT*

the woman that "bullies" sarah in prison played a huntington's patient in a drug trial on house...

when the guards surround sarah, i thought they were giong to gangbang her, which would have been nice had they not all been stupendously ugly.

is the former miss huntington, aka daddy, supposed to be lady-prison's t-bag?

now what's her name's back too? this and the finale, it's like a god damn reunion show!

does anyone really think ANYTHING that happened after the first two seasons is even remotely possible? that'll be the THIRD prison he's breaking out of!

everything is just so far-fetched...

there's no way michael could have written that "flower message" without folding the paper, and yet it is perfectley flat...

psycho-bitch, the one sent to kll sarah, just happened to wind up in that prison?

didn't know a "dad to look up to" is someone that got in jail twice, and broke out of jail three times, killed several people, had something to do with the death of others, and pulled the trigger on his mom, even though the gun misfired.

that huge mofo in the lady jail looks like that older woman from britain's got talent, the one that blew everyone's mind, something boyle.

there's exactly ZERO chance a dummy dropped from an aeroplane could both open a chute AND land inside that prison.

lady prison is so much less guarded and strict than man prison...

michael's kisses are so lack-luster, as if he was gay or something. go figure...

the whole ending was so sad. wanna know how i know that? because the music was sad. GOD THAT WAS FORCED...

and there's no more prison break. and i don't miss it that much

American Idol S01E22 - Top 3

the big three, i.e. the crazily talented kelly, the stripper and the hated one, perform tonight.

each contestant will sing twice: first, a song of their choice, and then a song chosen for them by the judges.

question: if they already did 10 songs in an hour, why not do three songs a piece, for a total of nine?

first round - idol's choice:

1) nikki - "edge of seventeen" by stevie nicks. nikki's mom is a white trailer trash. and nikki works at a karaoke bar, which for some reason i didn't know until now. hear that? that's the final piece of the puzzle shoved into place. NOW everything makes sense to me. nikki sings stevie (or nikki sings nicks-y?), and it's actually a great choice of song. didn't sound terrific, but then again i don't she CAN sound terrific. it was a'ight. you know what, it was more than a'ight. it was kinda good.

didn't know stevie nicks won american idol...

2) justin - "let's stay together" by al green. i thought that little kid meant justin should shake his hair. he's destroying the youth of america. i hate him. "going back to philly", but it says he's from doylestown... the return of the falsetto. i hate him. he's doing his whole "i'm doing this so that 12 year olds will vote for me a million times each" thing. i hate him. his voice crackeld (YAY!!!!). i hate him. vocally ok. i hate him. because of everything i've written, worst yet.

paula's an idiot. phenomenal is one word. simon: "what's your name? randy, right..." LOL brian really is useless.

3) kelly - "without you" by badfinger. she's so cute. loved the phrasing at the beginning. everything was great, and on point. not too much, not too few. brilliant. miles ahead of the other two. and unlike those other two (who are they again?), she chose a song that, at least for me, isn't instantly connected to an artist/band/whateva, so it didn't sound like a copycat/karaoke/impersonation. it's so cute how she's surprised that everyone thinks she's the best.

the giddy brian called the giddier ryan giddy. ooooookaaaaayyyyy...

1. kelly

.

.

.

29. nikki

30. justin

second round - judges' choice:

1) nikki - "black velvet" by alannah myles. pretty good song choice for her. it, again, was a bit better than a'ight. kinda good. but then she had to make excuses. hmph...

2) justin - "don't let the sun go down on me" by elton john. why is he wearing a suit? at least he didn't falsetto... other than the creepy smile at the end, i have nothing good or bad to say about his performance, so i'll say this - i hate him.

we see some baby pictures and childhood memories of the top 3 contestants. i think justin's mom meant "special" special, as in autistic special.

3) kelly - "think twice" by celine dion. haha, brian messed the introduction. "without you" was her choice for the first song... again miles ahead of the other two (seriously, who are they again?). not her best, above average kelly, but that's still great.

1. kelly

.

.

.

29. justin

30. nikki

overall ranking:

1. kelly

.

.

.

29. justin

30. nikki

the wierdest thing just happened. i wrote kelly in the number one spot, and then accidently kelly again in the number 29 spot, quickly realised and erased, and then accidently wrote kelly in the number 30 spot, quickly realised and erased. maybe it's because she made the other two (serisouly, who the fuck are they?) look like amatures being booed off at a karaoke bar, maybe nikki's karaoke bar.

you may ask why 29 and 30, and well the answer to that is that while kelly has gotten to the top 3 by improving most every week, at task that at times seemed impossible, the other two (jokes aside now, seriously, who are they?) are stuck at "vote me to the top 10" mode, where we had 30 people vying for your vote.

LOL at simon choking paula... LOL

American Idol S01E21 - Top 4 Results

after tonight, we'll be left with the idol big 3.

after he called paula his ideal woman, a thing that solidified his gayness, ryan turned to simon and said he's very sad to have to admit, and i thought he was going to say that simon is his ideal man. but no, we just get a star wars reference.

recap

group songS! quickly run and get a bucket to puke in, it's a paula abdul medley! the horror! kelly's running in place was cute. it's greatto actually see the contestants actually have fun on stage and be goofy. nikki looks like a hooker, but i guess that ain't the first time that has happened. paula totally dried nikki (an expression in hebrew, like leaving some on hanging), which was funny. simon looks disgusted with the whole thing, and rightfully so. maybe he wants a simon cowell medley. they could do the teletubbies song he got a #1 hit with in britain..

ryan's desperate. really, really desperate.

ford commercial. clarification to ryan: you're a nobody on-screen too... we get to see what ryan does for his day-job - clean cars.

kelly's safe. and she's shocked. it's so cute she doesn't know how awesome she really is. nikki;s bottom 2, again!

break

justin's safe, tamyra's bottom 2.

break

and america has lost it's collective mind. tamyra's out! it's true the previous night wasn't her best, but talk about short term memory! she has been arguably THE most consistently great performer, until the previous night. damn. paula looks like she's ready to shoot someone. "my journey ends here, but it doesn't stop" - she knows that doesn't make any sense, right? i;m surprised randy didn't jump up and say he used to play bass on journey...

Americam Idol S01E20 - Top 4

american idol's final four is under way

tonight every contestant sings twice! one from the 80s and one from the 90s, i think. it is possible that i'm wrong and they could choose both songs from the 80s and 90s, i dunno.

why wasn't the last one not 2 songs a piece? i mean, they already did 10 songs in an hour long show, 4 times! oh, well...

poor famous people... the idols get "managing the attention" lessons.

round 1:

1) tamyra - "new attitude" by patti labelle. didn't like it. she effed up the lyrics at one point (how come no one else noticed that? she started to say "somewhere" or something like that, realised it wasn't time for that part, and stopped), and just generally didn't sound good. this style doesn't fit her, at all.

2) nikki - "mary jane" by alanis morissette. the rocker didn't do rock! SHOCKING! she blew a note in the middle, but all in all it was good. i never thought i'd say it, but i think it was better than tamyra.

first randy calls tamyra dawg, then he calls simon baby. barf.

3) kelly - "it's raining men" by the weather girls. what on earth are "girl next door tendencies"? what happened at the beginning? wierd. are the weather girls called the WEATHER girl because it's RAINING men? ah, crackeld voice for a sec. still best tonight, but that's not that hard, especially for kelly. and paula doesn't make sense yet again. brian called her kc, which is wierd. it's true that she isn't fried, but she's not a chicken, nor is she from kentucky... she is a chick, and has a southern accent, being from texas and all, so i guess it's a'ight.

it's official: ryan's gay. first he says something about playing naked twister with randy, and then he prances around screaming "it's raining men". and after the break, when it's announced justin's next, he shouts "alright! yes!". gayest. host. ever.

4) justin - "get here" by oleta adams. the first line was waaaaaay too fast. i thought we were over the hand gestures. ugh. just ugh. kinda boring. he just had to do the falsetto at the end, didn't he? vocally, he was second best today, but it was still boring. oh, and i hate him.

1. kelly

2. justin

3. nikki

4. tamyra

we're only half way through, don't forget!

round 2:

1) tamyra - "feel the fire" by stephanie mills. that's more like it. much more like it. much better. i think that ooh-ooh-ooh-ooooh was to cover up her screw up on the "fiiiiiiiiire". still, much better than her first song. not quite as impressed as the judges, but still very good.

2) nikki - "i'm the only one" by melissa etheridge. nicky does a rock song! WOW! seeing how she is said to have been a stripper by some tabloid or another, i guess the "stripping" lyric was appropriate. a bit shouty. i don't really know what to say. it is ironic she sings she's the only one, when she's so clearly not going to be the only one to win this thing.

"when you pick the right song, you have your magic moment. tonight is yours." - paula to nikki. WHA?!?!?!? what is she talking about?!?!?!??

that little girl could actually replace ryan, and no one will notice.

3) kelly - "i surrender" by celine dion. the song is actually called "I surrender", not "LET'S surrender". after a string of aretha songs, she now goes for a celine dion one. and guess what? she's unphased by it. a bit of a crackeling in her voice, but who cares. another great performance. superb. she looks really good too.

paula should really stop with the "touchdown" bullshit. it wasn't funny the first time.

coca-cola advertisment! they went to a studio to record the winner's single. tamyra's interview bit was flipped, as evidenced by her mole-thingy being on the wrong side.

4) justin - "p.y.t. (pretty young thing)" by michael jackson. as brian annouces justin's next, ryan again makes a fool of himself and "dances" jacko style. ugh. justin also channels jacko's dance moves throughout the performance, and that sucks. vocally ok. i still hate him. and i hated the performance. paula melts every time justin goes on, and doesn't make sense. i really hope that just once, all the guys and sane non-12-year-old girls will shout "we hate you justin". just once.

1. kelly

2. tamyra

3. justin

4. nikki

overall ranking:

1. kelly

2&3. tamyra and justin (tie)

4. nikki

American Idol S01E19 - Top 5 Results

down to the final four after tonight!

recap

group songS! burt bacharach medley style. it all sounded sped up for some reason. what a coincidence that kelly's solo was the song she was originally planning to sing on the previous night's show. the whole swaying back and forth was annoying.

ford commercial. kelly's so cute. justin's a cocky asshole.

just a bottom 2 tonight. nikki's bottom 2, again! kelly's safe. tamyra's safe.

break

the idols went to the teen choice awards, and met some famous people.

justin's safe and rj's bottom 2.

break

rj's out, nikki's safe.

paula says something about flying coach. whatever.

American Idol S01E18 - Top 5

5 left, 5 perform

tonight's theme is burt bacharach love songs? what ever...

christina's back and feeling great. i just though of something. when she gets married, persumably to her fiance and not simon, wil she change her last name? cause it won't be half as cool if her name ain't christina christian...

why was christina in that clip? i thought she got voted off... i think justin was trying to diss burt. coolest senior citizen? why not just say coolest man over 90?

and we get a group performance! justin plays the harmonica and he's great! no, that wasn't funny the first time either... the three girls look classy, justin looks like a hippie that happend to wander on stage, and rj looks like a walmart employee. the kind that you don't see because they work storage. i don't think they listend to burt's advice about the ending...

1) kelly - "walk on by" by dionne warwick. i don't understand her decision to change the song. i mean, burt talked with you about one song, gave you advice about it, told you you sounded great with it, and THEN you change the song you're doing? she still sounded amazing. she really seemed to connect with the lyrics, which made for a very powerful performance. she doesn't have a clue what paula is rambling on about.

simon destroys at least one pen per show by bending the hell out of its clip.

2) rj - "arthur's theme (best that you can do)" by christopher ross. there's a kids show here in israel called arthur. i hated that show. it was so annoying. it's about a talking hamster that has a bunny for a friend and a mouse for a teacher. ugh.  ever since that photo shoot thingy, he wears those stupid lame tank tops. rj, dude, you're not buff enough to pull those off. he's from cumming. CUMMING! his performance was just as bad as the kids show i mentioned before. how can someone get caught between the moon and nyc? isn't that like outer space? that doesn't make sense...

judging by the bra and gloves sitting to paula's left (our left, not hers), RYAN'S HERE!! WOOHOO! we see a wiser shot, and apparently (is that how you write it?), the top 10 are contractually obligated to be at all the shows. and ej has the most uncool fro ever.

that chick at the beauty parlor  or whatever was soooo high. soooo high. i love it that kelly doesn't usually wear make up. all natural is great for me. 

3) tamyra - "a house is not a home" by luther vandaross. really good. really, really good. really, really, really good. really, really, really good. etc. i don't know if it happened before this episode was aired or not, but bonds did steroids. a lot of them. that kinda turns paula's compliment to a BURN!!! (that 70s show, people, watch it!)

ryan's looking for his penis, which is mighty disturbing, and not something to do on a live, family, national tv show.

4) justin - "the look of love" by dusty springfield. i hate him. he looks like a hippie. s=the singing was quite good. and then he went into the falsetto. ugh. i hate him.

5) nikki - "(there's) always something there to remind me" by naked eyes. and she's back to rock. sorta. the chorus is kinda rock-ish. that is what works for her though, so we'll let it slide. those boots look like they were stolen from an ss base. i'm jewish, i'm allowed to make nazi references and jokes. if you're not jewish, don't even try to do that. she never quite found the music, so to speak. she was either too fast or too slow throughout. worst tonight? almost.

jim and ryan switched places btw (behind the judges).

1. tamyra

2. kelly

3. justin

4. nikki

5. rj

American Idol S01E17 - Top 6 Results

we are down to 6, and after tonight, only 5 will be left

recap

group song! justin looks like he's scheduled at court or something, and tries to be hip with those dance moves. sheesh... kelly and tamyra were much better than the rest. why did nikki shout "hi mom" at the end?

a ford commercial in disguise. kelly's so cute!

tamyra's safe. kelly's safe. nikki's bottom 3, again! rj's bottom 3. justin's safe. sick christina's bottom 3.

paula doesn't make any sense.

nikki's safe.

break

rj's safe, which means poor sick christina's out. :( the top 5 cry and tell her they love her. kelly is still so adorable.

American Idol S01E16 - Top 6

just 6 are left, and tonight they sing big band.

1) tamyra - "minnie the moocher" by cab calloway. she looks great, really classy. she just commands the stage, and she does a great job. loved the scoogily-doo thingy. ryan's an idiot.

2) justin - "route 66" by nat king cole. i hate him. who does he think he is with that untied tie? seriously... every time he flicks his head, his entire fro jiggles, which is probably a strategy to distract everyone from his average at best singing. the scatting was terrible. i know it's not a fair comparison, but the stones' version was miles better than justin's, and they were only at the beginning of their career.

3) nikki - "hard-hearted hannah" by ella fitzgerald. she looks wierd with the old school dress and then the red and blonde hair and the studded collar. the last note was terrible. the performance was ok. that's the second time paula has said song selection was key important. what does that mean?key important? i understand one or the other, but both like that?

4) christina - "the glory of love" by peggy lee. the beginning was great, the middle was okay, and the end was very nice. i think she's back to her old machine-gun vibrato ways though, which ain't good. she has a fiance, which is kind of a turn-off, but oh well.

5) rj - "i won't dance" by frank sinatra. ALL WHITE suit? was that ever fashionable? if the song is called "i won't dance", don't! he reprised his bobbing-dog-head-like moves. and he didn't sound that good, either.

ryan says something about how giving yourself a handjob isn't as easy as it looks. whateva...

coca-cola advertisment! whoopee! justin sounded like a truck horn...

6) kelly - "stuff like that there" by bette midler. did she steal that dress from the i love lucy set? the faces she makes are so cute. she sounds fantastic. everyone is mesmerised. great performance overall. somehow, not having seen her act at all, paula can see kelly in tv and movies. odd...

1. kelly

2. tamyra

3. christina

4. justin

5. nikki

6. rj

Israeli Football Cup

so, beitar jerusalem, aka the club with the most racist fans in the world, just won the israeli football cup over maccabi haifa, with a 2-1 victory.

myself a haifa fan, there were several things that annoyed me in the game, or that i didn't understand:

1) how on earth did beitar finish the game with just 5 yellow cards and 1 red? they came out to the 2nd half determined to break someone's leg!

2) with so many delays in the 2nd half, how could the ref, who's considered to be the best ref israel has to offer, only add 3 minutes?

3) out of 3 clear penalties, at least to me and the rest of the people i watched the game with, how could the ref only call 1?

4) if you do call a penalty, and it the player who kicked it takes 2 minutes to take, because of beitar's players interference of course, how can the ref not add more time to the added time?

5) and when the goalie for beitar takes a minute to kick the ball after it went out of bounds, how could the ref not give him a yellow card AND add more time to what he already added?

i'm pissed right now, but maybe mesudarim, the israeli-high-tech entourage, which will be on in 40 minutes, will cheer me up...

American Idol S01E15 - Top 7 Results

after tonight it's down to six!

recap.

we get a group performance of "joy to the world", not the christmas carol, but the jeremiah the bullfrog one, and it was kinda fun. kelly was awesome and out-did everyone else.

another ford commercial! woohoo! that's so cute that kelly doesn't believe in hangers!

tamyra's safe, like we all knew she would be. ditto for kelly. nikki's bottom 3, again. ryan's also bottom 3, again. :(

break

justin looks pissed. and he should be. christina's safe, justin's bottom 3! woohoo!

nikki's safe, which means justin's bottom 2!

break

no!!!! justin's safe, meaning hot ryan's out! noooo!!! can't we get rid of gay ryan instead?

American Idol S01E14 - Top 7

7 are left, who will be going home tonight? *cue survivor music*

tonight, it's a 70s theme show, which hopefully won't mean disco and dance music, but let's see!

1) nikki - "heartbreaker" by pat benatar. again nikki goes for the rocker girl song. i kinda liked it, but not too much. that last note really came out of nowhere...

2) ryan - "last dance" by donna summer. she looks so cute. that skirt looked like at any moment it will roll into a little belt. it didn't happen. didn't like that song for her. she tried to "punk-rock" on a dance song, which didn't really work. not good...

we get a very uncomfortable moment after bryan's penis joke...

3) christina - "ain't no sunshine" by bill withers. i dunno... it was alright, i guess, but i just wasn't feeling it... i dunno... she's dressed like a belly dancer, which doesn't help, like at all. paula gives another olympics analogy that doesn't make any sense.

brian misses his sleeping buddy aj. too bad no one else does too...

4) justin - "some day we'll all be free" by donny hathaway. i hate him. i really do. i hated every thing he did during the song. but it was alright...

5) kelly - "don't play that song (you lied)" by aretha franklin. again kelly does an aretha song. tough, tough, tough. and she's just great. brilliant.

6) rj - "superstition" by stevie wonder. that intro clip was just disturbing. and also, he already wore a tanktop on a live performance, if i remember correctly. i don't think he can really pull that song off. the hip thrusting were disturbing to say the least. every thing about that performance was just too much... didn't like it.

7) tamyra - "if i were your woman" by gladys knight & the pips. she's barefoot, and seems to have a toe ring on the size of a baseball. she still sounded great. that last run was very cool. all in all, great performance.

1. kelly

2. tamyra

3. nikki

4. justin

5. christina

6. ryan

7. rj

American Idol S01E13 - Top 8 Results

tonight, another one bites the dust. who will it be? tune in to find out.

ryan (starr), christina and kelly are so cute.

we get a recap. yay.

ryan starr is so hot! simon might have spanked justin a little bit the night before this show. maybe.

we are told that brian was, is and will be on drugs. 

yay! another ford commercial!

we get what is the first instance of a group song. meh. kelly's wearing what where i come from is called dumb-hat, in the native language, but she looks soooo cute.

rj's safe. brian says he likes rj. puke. kelly's obviously safe. ryan's bottom 3. noooooooo! paula basically said about tamyra that she oozes something, but paula doesn't know what that is. that's disgusting. tamyra's safe, anyways. aj's bottom 3. justin's obviously safe. the hordes of 12 year-olds will not let him be in the bottom 3 just yet.

a break.

nikki's safe, and christina's in the bottom 3???? really?

i just slammed my hand into my desk. it hurts.

after the fat-ass that is randy (he literaly takes up half the sofa) and the other 2 judges say what they think about the bottom 3 (well paula didn't really say anything meaningful, but still), we learn that christina's safe. phew.

a break.

ryan's safe! aj's out!

paula said that aj's talent voted him off. that's not nice.

simon ripps on paula for being a choreographer, and she respons that she's won grammys. well, so did randy, so that's not saying much... aj looks stoned beyond belief. lol at paula's comment. she says simon was breast fed by his father. lol. i guess paula didn't learn much anatomy in high school.

American Idol S01E12 - Top 8

after getting rid of ej and jim, the top 8 will perform tonight, and the theme is songs from the 60s! this should, theoretically, be the night of good-to-great song chocies, but we'll see.

the contestants "wanted", not contractually obligated, to help those that need help, so the built a home with habitat for humanity, and we see a clip of that.

1) rj - "under the boardwalk" by the drifters. nice choice of song. i liked this song for him. thought he sounded pretty good.

2) tamyra - "a fool in love" by ike & tina turner. great choice of song. LOVED it. she's just great. sounded great, performed great. just great.

3) nikki - "piece of ny heart" by janis joplin. good song choice. nikki's back to being the rocker after last week's flopper. it was good. not as good as the previous two, but still good. i like this type of a song much better for her.

4) aj - "how sweet it is (to be loved by you)" by marvin gaye. he looks worse than ever. he sounds worse than ever. when are the people of american gonna let him go? it sounded like he was like 5 keys higher than the backup vocals. man, you're a man! sing like one. he should really learn how to perform. pointing at the audience once or twice is not performing.

5) kelly - "(you make me feel like a) natural woman" by aretha franklin. she's so cute. tough, tough, tough song choice, but she pulled aretha off before. LOVE the outfit. she sounds great. but what on earth was that shriek in the middle? she's so cute. i love her. she's great.

6) christina - "when a man loves a woman" by percy sledge. shouldn't this song be sung by a man? oh well. the "shirt" she's wearing is very similar to one we've already seen. a bikini top stitched together with huge sleeves. it's wierd. it was alright. nothing more, nothing less.

7) justin - "sunny" by bobby hebb. i hate him. is the lyrics really "once or two"? that doesn't make sense... i hate him. it was ok, but my hatred for him makes it hard for me to do anything other than scream at the top of my lungs.

we get to see the humongous house the contestants stay in while on the show. i envy them so much... i think justin might be gay. and when he jumped in the pool, he nearly crashed on the edge of it. that would have been AWESOME!

8) ryan - "you really got me" by the kinks. she's so hot. i love that song. but not for her. it was too slow for some reason. it was pretty bad, to be honest. she's still hot though. she's so cute.

while the credits roll, ryan, the "host" goes to the girls to try and proves he's not gay, brian doesn't even bother and goes straight to the guys, and justin's gangbanged by three under-age blonds.

1. kelly

2. tamyra

3. rj

4. christina

5. justin

6. nikki

7. ryan

8. aj

American Idol S01E11 - Top 10 Results

two (2!) go home today from the top 10, who will they be?

recap... zzzzzz

simon's not there, instead we get a carboard cut out, an paula impersonating him. the ryan clothing thing was funny.

"who slept well last night?", "who slept at all last night?", "who slept together last night?" LOL! i have to admit that bryan are getting marginally better.

the contestants live in a huge and totally pimped out, cribbs material, house.

ej's out, and he's wearing that same stupid hat.

another ford commercial... the girls in wet clothes was hot...

some more boring shit...

nikki and jim join ej in the bottom 3, and jim's out.

American Idol S01E10 - Top 10

now this is where the fun begins...

the top 9 that the public chose, plus rj, will sing live in front of a live audience from now until we're down to the first american idol.

and we get themes! tonight's motown. that means stevie! welcomes to recyclers heaven. we've heard by now at least half of the songs that will be performed tonight, at one stage of the competition or another.

we see a not-so subliminal advertising for mastercard, with some cute and funny moments, like the three girls dressing all the same, justin's seacrest shirt, and kelly's kaching! or was it chuh-ching?

1) ryan - "if you really love me" by stevie wonder. god she's hot. LOVE that top. they really should have "california girls" in the background of that little clip about ryan. she's a dork. I LOVE IT! the band kinda drowned her out once it got started. the performance was hot, but not just because of the singing, which was very good, but could have been better. she's so goofy and adorable!

2) rj - "i can't help myself (sugar pie honey bunch)" by the four tops. he surprised me. he actually sounded really good. quite an improvement he's made.

i think ryan changed his shirt. it was yellow and now it's white. hmmm...

3) nikki - "ben" by michael jackson. didn't know jacko was motown. after two up-tempo performances comes this buzz kill from nikki. didn't like it, didn't enjoy it. this is a bit of a sell-out by the (self?) proclaimed rocker. she choked on a note, turning ben into beh. and then the next time she calls him bin. twice.

4) ej -"my girl" by the temptations. what on earth is he wearing? wierdest. hat. ever. don't like the falsetto everywhere. good, but i didn't personaly like it. simon's reactions are inconsistent. when a guy on ai7 said the same thing about how it is the viewers decision, he got all pissed...

5) tamyra - "touch me in the morning" by diana ross. her "top" needs a cleavage. she sounds great AND she performs well. best so far.

6) justin - "for once in my life" by stevie wonder. i hate him. i really, really hate him. he sounds good and all, but my despise for him just kinda blocks that out. it's really annoying that the waves of excitment from the crowd come when he "dances" and not when he sings well. simon's right about paula's rambling.

7) jim - "easy" by the commodores. jim looks very "cool" today. for the slow ones, that's called sarcasm. dude, just, dude...  bleh. sounded flat, and way off tune on the last note. just bleh.

8) kelly - "you're all i need to get by" by marvin gaye and tammi terrell. how cute is she? she looks great, she's having fun, she sounds terrific. that mini run at the middle with the funny face was nice. great anding. just great. LOVE her. god she's so cute, adorable and dorky.

9) aj - "my cherie amour" by stevie wonder. ohhh... he wants to take care of his mother and 9 sibilings... it was alright. there are much better singers in this competition, but it was alright.

10) christina - "ain't no mountain high enough" by marvin gaye & tammi terrell. she looks hot today. that jeans dress looked really uncomfortable to walk in. the "enough"s on the chorus sounded really odd, except for the last one which was good. she sounded good, but barely "performed", though i think that's because of the jress.

1. kelly

2. tamyra

3. christina

4. ryan

5. justin

6. rj

7. aj

8. ej

9. jim

10. nikki

American Idol S01E09 - The Wild Card Show

five rejectees come back to perform, and the judges pick one of them to join the 9 picked by the audience as the last piece in the top 10 puzzle.

singing tonight are: Kelli Glover, Chris Aaron, Alexis Lopez, RJ Helton, Angela Peel.

and even though only five perform, it's still an hour long show...

1) kelli - "how am i supposed to live without you" by laura branigan. why does she keep singing whitney songs? what was that squeek as she got up on the platform? there's a very distinct throaty sound to her voice. that's bad, in case you're wondering. didn't like it.

2) chris - "on bended knee" by boyz ii men. god he's lame. why choose a boyz ii men song? hand gestures!!!! i think those gestures are the worst yet... he never got on the music, always sounded off pitch, for me. i think, and hope, that will be the first and only time i use the P word. the key was too high for him too. i can't believe i actually got the pitch/music thing right...

3) alexis - "saving all my love for you" by whitney houston. whitney? come on... singing wise, it was okay, but paled in comparison. performance wise it sucked big hairy balls.

that tamika thing is really annoying and not funny. how did she agree to doing it anyway?

again with the "losers" incident? ARGH!!!!

4) rj - "lately" by stevie wonder. a much improved song choice over his last one, even though it's a stevie. hated all of those little runs that he did. overall ok.

5) angela - "as we lay" by shirley murdock. she would actually look good without all that makeup and piercing. but she doesn't have the boobage to pull that bikini top off. started off really wierd, but it got better. and then she started doing all of those runs... didn;t understand a lot of the words she sang. and she wore a hideous collar.

ryan's soooo cute. starr not seacrest.

and... rj moves on to the top 10!

for me, he wasn't all that much better than the other four tonight, but the improvement he made from his last performance was the biggest.

is it just me, or did simon fall asleep on the tanning bed with glasses on?

1. rj

2. alexis

3. angela

4. kelli

5. chris

Prison Break Series Finale

anyone else disappointed? it just felt wrong

i'm not saying it should have continued, but that ending doesn't sit right with me...

American Idol S01E08 - Top 30: Group 3 Results

again, 3 move on, 7 move out, let's get this going.

short non singing recap of last night.

we get the pleasure of hearing the judges talk some more about the whole "simon insulted these people, so randy must stand up and talk in a really high voice" thing. zzzZZZZzzzZZZZz

zzzzzzz

zzzzzzzzz

zzzzz

christina is through.

zzzzzzzzzzzzz

nikki is through.

zzzz

ej is through.

My Headphones

there's something wrong with my headphones.

the wire that connects the actual head phones and the thing that plugs into the mp3/computer is a bit loose at the plug end of it, so i can pull it out or push it in a bit.

i know that last part was kinda suggestive, but that's not what i'm going for here.

the wierd thing is, the headphones still work just as well as when i bought them...

American Idol S01E07 - Top 30: Group 3

one more time!

there's a disturbing conversation about randy's fondness of long bubblebaths. a not so pleasent image just popped up in my head, and i feel like killing ryan. and then to make matters worse, they make me think about ryan and paula. together. *chills* ugh. and just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, simon and ryan go back and forth about how ryan looks. now if you'll excuse me, i feel like barfing.

we see the reason delano was disqualified. if i had to guess, i'd say he was 12...

1) rj - "i'll be there" by the jackson 5. bland. a bit forced at times. he's got 3 earrings, one of them at the top of his ear. ugh. and the hand movements. AAHH!!! enough! nothing more than average. when the judges argue, he looks like he wants to run all the way to ny, but doesn't know if he's supposed to stay put or not. lol

that was fun.

2) kristin - "fallin'" by alicia keys. kristin is hot and beatuiful. hated the pants. couldn't care less about the performance. she can sing and all, but that growling thing is just wrong. and the girl that fell in her audition sings "fallin'"? lol

3) mark - "my girl" by the temptations. mark has a goatee. nuf said. meh. bleh. he looked just as bad as he sounded, which is a pretty hard feat to accomplish. and, is he wearing a neck sweatband?

4) nikki - "total eclipse of the heart" by bonnie tyler. better than the rest, but that's not saying much. more hand gestures. $@&$#&%!!! it sounded like she was a bit ahead of the music. it was a bit shouty at the loud part, but the quiet ending i quite liked. she has the potential to look good too.

5) chris - "i swear" by all-4-one. what on earth is that song? chris is a pompous mothafucka. he's slurring. a lot. he's just not that good... and he's got zero stage presence.

6) melanie - "and i'm telling you i'm not going" by jennifer holliday. why sing the same song as tamyra, when you're clearly not as good. not even close. and please, just sing the fucking song! really bad. the way she kept looking for the right camera was kinda funny. when you finish singing, shut up and listen to the judges! paula would be proud of an ant climbing to the top of a pile of dirt...

7) ej - "i'll be" by edwin mccain. why does he spell his name ejay? i ain't changing how i spell it though... what was that shriek at the middle? ghastly. not so impressed, but still better than anyone else.

8) tanesha - "until you come back to me (that's what i'm gonna do)" by aretha franklin. i don't know if the way she started it (the name of the song), is how it really goes, but that seems like a really stupid thing to do, since no knows yet what she's going to do... over the top, shouty, plain wierd at places. she had runs in the most inappropriate places. sucked. the ending was especially painful.

9) khaleef - "my cherie amour" by stevie wonder. meh. forgettable with a capital F. and the fucking hands again! ARGH! i think one of those la's came out as lllll... and when he finished, before the last note on the piano ended, he stopped the performance and turn to the judges. it seemed like he was constantly looking for something. just bad.

for the first time, that coca cola moments thing was funny.

10) christina - "at last" by etta james. that piano opening sounded like the start of "i will survive". love that top. she's actually kinda hot. and pretty. there's something wierd sounding about her vibrato... kinda like her voice is run through a leslie speaker or something (huh? huh? how do you like that analogy?). couldn't agree more with the judges.

i noticed the contestans say thank you to the judges a lot of times when they really shouldn't. when someone tells you what you did wrong don't say thank you, say ok. i really despise some of these people.

1. christina

2. ej

3. nikki

4. rj

5. kristin

6. melanie

7. mark

8. chris

9. khaleef

10. tanesha