Some more people that will suck. Some more people that will rock. What's not to like?
Lessons! Woohoo! Lesson 1 - The Look. Some people look like CRAP! Christa's crazy. And she wears all kinds of fabrics, on all kind of places. Wierd. LOL! "Today you felt like the inside of a dustbin?". LOL! She, obviously, SUCKS. And she begs a little. And cries. And begs. But she's still not through. Tami's a paddy cab driver. WOW. She's SO lesbian. And she sing "Whipping Post". HA! She changes the lyrics, so as to not appear totaly lesbian. That version SUCKED, but she can sing. And she's through.
Lesson 2 - Seek Inspiration. Some people are inspired by former Idols. Others by some other singers. Paul Kim was inspired by the Hung. He wants to prove Asians really can sing. LOL! Awesome! He's a pool-boy. He can sing. The husky voice is distracting. And he's through. Jack's inspiration's Bo's "In a Dream". He SUCKS. And he sings about opening his eyes. With his eyes closed. Simon called him deluded. LOL. Lesson 3 - Don't Give Up. Somepeople audition after being rejected before. We saw one of the cowboys from last season. Gina was the dental assistant from last season who's in love with Simon. She's still good. Simon says she's got a good taste. She wants to hug him. And again, she's through. And she does hug him. LOL!
Some people love Simon. Some people hate Randy. A LOT of people love Paula. Edward's a crazy Paula fan. He's there to see her. He gets to hug her. Awww... He sucks, though. As long as he's happy. Some people work in different jobs. And we see what some of last year's finalists did before going on Idol. Lesson 4 - Audition On Your Own. 3 rollerskating waitresses, a la Kellie Pickler, are auditioning together. Heather's first. She's alright. Ashley's next. She's got a ton of make up on. She's alright. Ebony's next. And she's better. Marginally. Heather's not through. Paula tells Ashley she shouldn't wear that much make up. She disses her for being old. HA! She's through. Ebony's through too.
We are reminded of the sucky singles of the Idol winners. We get to hear some orginals in some auditions. Faithon SUCKS. Melissa SUCKS. Brandon's beatboxing's good. But it SUCKED. Wes' spooky. He SUCKS. And the hand gestures. Ugh. And the stomping. Ugh. Simon's confused. Lesson 5 - Shake Your Moneymaker? People dance. Poorly. Except for Matt Buckstein (he was on last season). He doesn't dance. And we see Alex. Whose dancing SUCKS. And he SUCKS. Weren't we promised some good auditions??? Simon's less than impressed. He's outta here! And he gets to hug Paula. And he shakes Randy's hand. Simon couldn't care less.
Lesson 6 - Clarity. And we get to guess what they are singing! Yay! I wouldn't have guessed the first. Or the second. Or the third. LaKisha's got a tiny baby girl. Whose 3 yr old. And she's awesome! And she's through. And she cries hugging her daughter. Awww...
I refuse to comment on the waste of time that was the recap of the auditions. WE JUST SAW THAT!!! But, next, it's Hell Week! Hollywood, here we come! 172 people will be there, only to be brutally cut down to just 24! Ha! This is going to be awesome! Was that Marlea? The first one ever to quit? Back in season 4? Huh???
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