Birmingham, AL! Home of the Ruuuuuuuuben, Bo and Taylor.
BIRMINGHAM -
Erica's first, and her southern accent is NOT cute, unlike Kellie's, or any other Idol finalist, EVER. She says Unchained Melody's by LeAnn Rimes. Stupid, stupid, stupid. She's not really good. It was actually painful. They tell her not to sing another one. She does. They scream. She keeps singing. Paula's astonished. She SUCKS. And not through. Some people cry for not making i tthrough. Katie's got a baby voice. It is REALLY annoying. I SERIOUSLY hope she sucks. Damn. She doesn't. But her singing voice is REALLY strange too. But she's good. Simon looks pissed, and REALLY hopes she doesn't get through. And she's through.
Tatiana's 17. She's good. And through. Siana's scary. And fat. And i don't now where her chest ends and her stomach starts. And she sucks.
Bernarnd's ok. Not special. He's through. Margaret's NOT 26. More like 50. And she's crazy. And she's Big Bird-like. I'm scared. LOL! When she tells the judges she's "26", Simon says he's 9, Paula's 11 and Randy's 10. Ha! And she SUCKS. LOL at Randy and Paula "digging" it. Simon looks puzzled. She's NOT 33. She IS 50.
Some people go through. Jamie Lee's HOT! She's got a "sad story". Her dad's paralyzed. Why is that, you ask? HE SHOT HIMSELF! AND, HE SHOT HIS EX! FOR CHEATING ON HIM! HE CAUGHT HER IN THE ACT! AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! She's not great. But she's alright. And she's through. Chris Sligh's a funny dude! LOL! Xtina! HA! His interview bit was FUNNY! LOL! And he wants to make the Hasselhoff cry. LOL! ROFL! LMAO! And he's great! LOL! 16 from day 1 are through.
Paula's not with us today. Yay! Victoria's hair is 6 FEET LONG! WOW! Spooky... She's a "nice" person. They want to meet her mom, with the SLIGHTly shorter hair. Victoria doesn't suck, but she's not good, either. And she's not through. Lakia's name SUCKS. And she can't talk properly. And she SUCKS. It hurts. We see people being nice, despite their dreams being shattered. That's nice of them.
Some familys support some people. Team Nichole? Huh? Seriously? And Nichole cries. Almost. She's ok. Pretty good. Simon looks bored. The judges don't think she's ready. And she's outta here! Simon and Randy are "exhausted". And then came Brandy. She's crazy. Delusional. Stuid. Moronic. Idiotic. And she doesn't wear a bra. WHY OH WHY??? She SUCKS, big, hairy virgin balls. She thinks the floor's to blame. Maybe the carpet's to blame too. And she gets pissed. And she talks back. She needs to take some grammar lessons. She SERIOUSLY thinks she rocks. And she curses. That was amusing, her whole ranting as Simon and Randy go out, and then back in. "Sweet Home Alabama"! THAT SONG ROCKS! Next, LA! Hollywood!
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