American Idol S06E04 - New York Auditions

New York! The Big Apple! Suckiness ensues!

NEW YORK -

Carole Bayer Sager joins the judges panel for these auditions. Ian was on "So You Think You Can Dance?" season 2. And he got pissed after not going through. And he's cocky. And he's gay. "Benardo"? Not Bernardo, Benardo? He's dilusional. He's got 2 theraists. And each of them's got a couple too, I'm sure. He SUCKS. REALLY bad. And he gets pissed at Simon. And he gets escorted out. LOL. And he calls Simon a do-do bird. WOW. Sarah's cute. And she lied to her parents about going to audition. :0. And she cries. And she's good. Stupid song choice. But she's good. And she's through. She cries. And she's forced to call her dad. Her dad's not mad, he's intrigued. LOL.

Fania's greek. She can't dance. And she's retarded. And she's ugly. And she sucks. And she can't dance. Or sing. She sucks. She's fugly as heck. Ashanti's desperate. She got to Hollywood twice, but never made it to TV. And I don't understand how she's made it that far, and twice no less! She sucks. She's desperate. REALLY desperate. And she begs for ANYTHING good. And she's overly dramatic, as is proved by Ryan's little intro and the melodramatic music. GOD, I hate her... Even after that hour long speech, she sucks. And she's outta here. JUST GET OUT! STOP IT! SHUT UP! ARGH!!! AAAHHH!!!

Some people fall asleep, are awakened by someone with the camera close up, and are scared. LOL. Amanda and Antonella are BFF. Antonella's HOT! Amanda's not. They're annoying, together. Amanda's first, and they bring Antonella in too. And they're oh so nice to each other! And they sing a duet. That WAS a mess. Alone, Amanda's better, but still not all that. But she's good. Simon coudn't care less, but says yes. And she's through. Antonella's next. And she's better. And HOTTER! She's good. Did I mention she's HOT!? And she's through.

Someone plays harmonica. His name is Clifton. SERIOUSLY??? He likes to make people scream. And he sucks. And then he goes in the room. Simon cracks up at him. And then he sucks. He sings ZZ Top. SERIOUSLY??? He stomps. He SUCKS. And I LOVE that song! And he ruined it! He plays harmonica next. F-150? HUH? Phillip SUCKS. Someone in an astronaut suit? HUH? Josh's got green hair. William's unsure about his sex(uality). Kia? THAT'S A CAR!!!!!!!!!!! ARGH!!!!!!!!!!! She's good. She ALWAYS agrees with Simon on the show. And she cries. And she's through.

Simon's not here, at least to start things off. Jenry's a WIERD spelling for Henry. He's good. Paula's hot for him. Carole FREAKS ME OUT! He's through. Nakia's CRAZY. She's not terrible. Not good. Not terrible. There's some wierd side-effect sort of sound to her voice. Either that or I'm hearing things. She's outta here. She's crying, and begging. And she doesn't know what being off-pitch means. The "lot of people" rooting for her is one girl. Sarah's crazy, too. And she SUCKS. She doesn't think she can sing, admits she's not a singer, but she still wants to be the American Idol, even though she can't sing. She's CRAZY!!!! Randy's speechless. And she keeps talking. And talking. And talking. Ugh. And then she screams, after getting out. And it was funny!

Simon decided to show up. Antonio SUCKS. And he's 47??? HUH??? Jory's a Canadian, and she's wearing a wheel rim plate sort of thing. The one you get in cheaper cars, that comes off easily. You know what i mean... And she can sing. And she's through. Porcelana's militant. RIGHT. She did get quite hot, though. And she can sing. And she's through. She's amazed. And hugs everyone. Sans Simon.

We get a FUCKED UP names montage. LOL. Christopher's COCKY! And he's somewhat similar to Simon. Looks wise. Not really, but kinda. He sings KELLY!?!?!?!? HE SUCKS!!!! And he sounds like a chick. What's with chicks sounding like dudes, and vice versa??? Simon looked pained. Paula and Simon "fight". Rachel's got a "special" look. She can sing. Wierd song choice, but she can sing. Simon's confused with which Rachel's the real Rachel. But she's through.

We get a montage of "All Night Long (All Night)". That sucked. Chris' from VA. And he's good. Too many runs. But he's good. Paula's hot for him. Simon thinks he can surprise them in the next rounds. And he's through.

Some people SUCK. Nick quit in Hollywood last season, after forgetting the lyrics. He's good. And through.

Isadora's name SUCKS. She sucks. She's delusional. She moans. She doesn't sing, she moans and grunts. SHE SUCKS!!! UGH!!! ARGH!!! And again with the damn bracelets! ARGH!!! Next we go to the hometown of Ruben, Bo AND Taylor!