American Idol S05E06 - Austin Auditions

austin, texas, the live music capital of the world! yeah, it's true!

AUSTIN -

it's hot in texas! shocking! lol at the girl running away screaming "after seeing simon's pecks". ha! julian's a dancer. he sucks. he's a dork. he's gay. h does a split. my balls really hurt. i'm in pain. i'm about to vomit blood. he sucks. he's still gay. michelle sucks. lol at the number falling, and her asking if she needs to pick it up, and paula shaking her head ever so slightly. arthur sucks. donnell sucks. BUT, he does the jigglypuff song, so i LOVE him! paula SUCKS. the one that auditioned named paula suck too. i hate her. the one that auditioned too. she's a CRAZY fan. the one that auditioned, that is. she SUCKS. both of them. how does having braces supposed to affect your singing? and she gets pissed. what's wrong with her lips? it's like someone with parkinson's put her lipstick on!

some people dress as zombies. danielle's somewhat cute. but she sucks. CHANEQUA!!!! ARGH!!!!! I HATE STUPID NAMES!!!!!!!!! she sucks. anisa sucks. that hurt. we see a "horror" ilm parody. that sucked. jason's a funeral director/embalmer. hi, i'm scared. we get some jokes about the dead/the simon. jason's loud. but he's good. he's through. cierra? Cierra? CIERRA?!?!? she sucks. i hate her. that was painful. REALLY painful. and she thinks simon really wanted her to sing another song. a lot of people don't go through.

allison almost died on the way to austin. freightning! she RECOMMENDS people to nearly die on a plane, as it "changes things". she's stupid as heck, ain't she? she sucks, big shiny, metal-y plane balls. lol at her stopping because the judges laughed. at least she knows she sucked. she gets half an hour to get her nerves in check. LMAO! after simon suggests she imagine randy in swimming trunks, to help her relax, she says she already imagined him (simon), which is probably why she sucked so bad. LOL! ROFL! LMAO! and paula screams touchdown. simon tries to save face. he doesn't, really. some more people don't go through. jeffrey doesn't have a reason to why he's the next american idol. or why he's there. he's boring. and dull. and bland. ricky, shut up! lol! after randy pressures him because he's a music major, ricky says "i shouldn't have said that..." lol! he doesn't suck! what's with so many singing "i can't make you love me"? it's a chick song! just cause the fraude known as constance did it last season, that doesn't mean it's a good idea! he's good, though, and is through. ashley's hot, but ugly and a snob. i hate her. there are some randy's weight jokes. she's alright. she can sing with her mouth clothes! that's so freaky! simon's wrong. NO ONE's going to like her. she's through.

rj's a dick. a cock, a schmock. i HATE him. i REALLY, REALLY, REALLY hate him. he's THE most cocky person on tv. EVER. i HATE him. and apparently so does everyone else. he's kinda good. I HATE HIM. he's through. I HATE HIM! randy's right! he was terrible! randy's slimmer clone's next! FUNNY! simon's shocked that looking like randy helps him with the chicks. LOL! he's kinda alright. *firefox just crashed, nearly destroing EVERYTHING! but it's all good...* we get more randy-kevin comparisons. he's not through.

allison's back. she still sucks. she's a good sport. william's 16. he's good. fun. he's good. paula doesn't think he's ready. simon likes him. he's through.

tessie mae's FAT. that braided hair thing is fugly. SHE's UGLY! she's cocky as hell. she can be the next big famous person. with an emphasis on the big. and really quitely saying the famous. she thinks simon's gonna love her. he isn't. she SUCKS, big, hairy, multi-colored dragon balls! YEAH!!! she SUCKS! AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! THE SUCKINESS!!!!!!!! AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! she thinks she sounds like avril lavigne. she's not through. and that's it. 12 go through, and 1 of them hit ryan, twice! lol! jeffrey still doesn't know why he's there. next, boston! sorta! around it! near it!