American Idol S05E03 - Greensboro Auditions

greensboro, nc, home of the aiken and the 'tasia!

GREENSBORO -

sabrina's got no neck. i would NEVER hit on her. she SUCKS. she's doesn't know the lyrics, either. she REALLY sucks. jerry springer? huh? "you mean a couple o' gallons?" lol! she gets pissed. cachet? cachet?? CACHET?!?!?!? WTF IS THAT NAME?!?!?!? she SUCKS. big hairy horsie balls. i didn't even recognize the song, it was so horrible. some people don't get through. amanda sucks. ROFL! simon reaction was SO funny! kellie's really cute. like really, really cute. her story's SO sad... i like her. i really like her. she never sang in front of people? she sings kelly? at least she's aware of what she's doing. she's good! real good! she's shocked. and she keeps talking. lol! i love her! she's through! she's crying. i REALLY like her!

shawn's got a BIG sign. that sucks. his brother's REALLY confident. the tux is too much. way too much. he's a crooner. that sucks. he might be alright, but he's got no place on idol. he's out. he says "darn, man". the judges give snipe-y waiter comments. lol. his little brother's annoying. he thinks it's bologne! bologne! some people suck, and bring props. richard's a ventriloquist.he's got a dummy. he's a dummy. he's kinda good. he's outta here. rhonda's voice creeps me out. randy should really stop saying that "prove that YOU'RE the next american idol" thing. rhonda sucks. she's not sweet, cute and adorable. she's not through. she pouts. she tells simon she loves him. and then she gets a hug from ryan. steven's full of himself. i hate him. i REALLY hate him. he's kinda got a good voice. randy and simon make paula dance with him. randy dances with himself. he's through. aaaand... he's married.

halicia? Halicia? wtf?!?!? she's excited. she's "a very very people person"? she claps. she's kinda good. she kisses simon. she's through. i'm not excited. she's is very much so. all her 4000 relatives are too. and she told them all! donny's mom hasn't heard him sing. he's going to suck, isn't he. he sings clay's bridge over troubled water. he SUCKS. kendra's been in 42(!) different foster homes. she tells ryan she thinks he's hot. simon thinks she looks like a young whitney. but does she SOUND like a young whitney? she's way too perky. she's good. she's through.

chase's GAY. he sucks. he's kinda good. he's through. simon tells some people he's not being rude. someone tells ryan he's short. she wears a bikiny? her name's chonna? CHONNA?!!!!!!!??????? she sucks. i hate her. she can kinda sing. she's not through.

some don't go through. some, girls, do. eric sucks. brandon looks like he's on crack. he sucks. he's outta here. his gf(?) is annoying. some people forget their words. ryan's got a wierd accent. how is ryan short/nickname for jeffery? he's a'ight. simon takes a jab at seacrest. he's through. cedric's related to fantasia. he looks bored. he loves simon. he sings chain of fools? WHY???? HOW ON EARTH DOES PUTTING A HAND OVER ONE EAR SUPPOSED TO HELP YOU!?!!?!?!!!!!!?????? he sucks. he does sound like a little girl when he sings. paris' grandma is ann nesby. randy's pumped about it. paris' is 17, and she's cute. "yes ma'am". ha! she's really good. with the pedigree, why does she need this competition? the second song was MUCH better. she's through. she opens the door, falls to her knees, and the door hits her. LOL! her grandma cries. did she cry when she got those grammys too? 24 are through on day one.

day two's simon b-day. he's now about 157? 158? something like that. marcus is stupid as heck. he's about as smart as a shoe lace. he's really self confident. he sucks. he does a REALLY wierd face when he sings. and his hand movments are just odd. he learned from the randy and paula dvd. ROFLAMO!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! lol at simon "there is a god!". lol! paula suggests he should model, and simon says that randy's got a modeling dvd coming out. LOL! ROFL! LMAO! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! simon loves the world. and marcus goes outside, and breaks the dvd with a hammer. lol!

some people try to stand out. jimmy's boring. REALLY, REALLY boring. he SUCKS. he sings with his eyes closed. he SUCKS. simon's not being rude, but thinks he has the personality of a hippo when he sings. lol. sammy's gay, with a capital G. and he's crazy. really, really crazy. and "raw". he's crazy. he sucks. he dances with a rug. he sucks. he shakes his booty. i just puked. lol at simon's sly stalone comment! lol!

tyra's from nyc. she's good, but distinctly average. she's through. she's not overly ecstatic. some dude look like crap. or shit. or poo. seth SUCKS. he keeps forgetting the lyrics. he's a jacko impersonator, and he forgets the lyrics to thriller. he sucks, big gray and hairy elephant balls. randy says "good lookin' out" to everyone that doesn't go through.

the village people's long lost umpteenth member, jordan, is kinda good. but what's with the firefighter outfit? "fire in the hole" is for grenades... randy's a moron. he's through. he's shocked. he cries. he's seriously happy. rhonetta's got no panties on. she's got big ta-ta's. i already hate her. she's fugly as hell. and she's a snob. what she's wearing is NOT sexy. she just started singing. but that's a joke. i HATE her. simon's right. she IS bigger than most people. she SUCKS, big hairy donkey balls. she thinks she's hot and all, but she's not. paula ofers her water, and she just laughs. i HATE her. then she just stands there. and then she starts to sing again. she still SUCKS, this time it's big hippo balls. she goes out. and then she flips out! she got the most pissed i've ever seen a rejected hopeful, ever. i HATE her. she REALLY needs a reality check. i'm tired of her. i really hoped a car would have hit her...

9 are through on simon's b-day, for a total of 33 from nc. some people butcher "fame". next, san fran!