American Idol S04E01 - Washington DC Auditions

a new season. LET'S GET IT ON!!!!!

ahhh.... auditions.... i REALLY didn't miss this part...

DC -

and we start with the national anthem. brilliant. on the producers part, not the performance. i had my fingers stuck in my ears for the entire duration of that "audition". needlees to say, she sucks. simon's shocked! lol!

as simon sees mark mgrath for the first time (in the auditions) he says "mr mgrath, how are you?". lol. just, lol. some girls think mark's hot. mark will be the first guest judge in the auditions, ever!

sean's kinda stupid. but he has a soul of an angel... he doesn't exactly sing like one, but definitely good enough for the next round. mark's mom would love him, so he's through. rebecca sucks. davon sucks. jiggiling! jessie SUCKS. he forgets the lyrics. instead of skipping that part, he just keeps trying, again, and agina, and agina, and again. either that or he just stands there. when he actually sings more than 2 words, we learn he really, REALLY SUCKS. and he forgets the lyrics again. and he cries. and he just leaves, without the judges saying anything. we see some people forget the lyrics. they suck.

anwar is another good soul. ugh... he reminds me of someone... he doesn't suck! he doesn't do all these crazy runs, and he's got a really good voice. he holds his hands forward, as if asking for charity. randy thinks he can blow. is that a good thing or a bad thing? lol... "milli AND vanilli". he's through. melissa is really full of herself. she looks like shit. she's a moron. she's got a stupid story about getting dressed. she sucks. real bad. she's delusional.

derek braxton is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo full of himself. he's toni braxton's relative. he SUCK, bug hairy monkey balls. he doesn't know when to shut up, either. he seriously thinks he's the hottest thing on earth. WIERD. and he's delusional. so much so, it's scary. melissa's good looking. and alright sounding. some people suck singing "america the beautiful". derek was in there, and he's still a complete moron. we hear regina's "sad" story. the stupid bitch sold her wedding rings, over her KARAOKE MACHINE, to get enough money to audition. IDIOT. and she thinks she'll die if she can't express herself through music. MORON. good enough to go through. definitely NOT good enough to win this competition/be able to express herself through music, so i guess she'll die when she's dropped. oh, well... she is through, so she gets to live for now. i think i might have killed her had I been married to her.

marlea's kinda good looking. how can she a single mom AND a full time mom? it means she has a kid, and she's got no job... HAND GESTURES!!! ARGH!!!! she sounds good. she's through. sarah's hot. and her parents are british. good. affected, with a capital A, but good. she's through. some people go through. aven, yes, AVEN, is cool, calm, collected. right. he looks crazy. the definition of over the top. and not good enough to be able to pull it off. just PAINFUL. simon's SHOCKED.

a dude sucks. some other "rocker" bails on his band. what sets constantine the rocker, CdR for future reference, apart is that he's old. right. "new york city" rock 'n' roll, not just any r&r. i LOVE "cryin'". he's good. he's got a creepy, non-rocker smile. he shouted. a lot. two girls are really stupid. amanda says she was put on this earth to sing. she kinda sucks. jillian's "crazy". she sure does suck, "crazily". lol at the organ "revelation" thing. they beg/get pissed. and cry.

cristopher sucks. angela sucks. lol at simon's spice girls comment. brian's a janitor. he's very, VERY broadway. and he goes to beg for money, and someone breaks something of his. lol. travis dances, including a breakdance thing, and then sings. AND he can sing! wow! mark thinks he's a kool kat, so he's through. mary sings hanky panky, or something like that. and she spanks herself. she sucks. and they make a whole deal out of the spanking.

ian's full of himself. and over the top. and he sucks. "ai'ght, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah...". he's through? huh? michelle has the WORST job in the world. she sucks. we see the DRAMA that is constantine quitting the band. like they didn't realise there were cameras in there, BEFORE ryan entered. right.

jason sucks on so many levels... he's "raw talent", and he found out he can sing just a couple of weeks ago, yet it is his destiny to sing. he sucks sooooooooo bad... paula's proud of someone? SHOCKER! franchon? FRANCHON? she boxes, and that's cool as heck. she doesn't completely suck. she's kinda good. she's not through. john's from hackensack. HACKENSACK! he's a'ight, i guess. he's through.

i'm not going to say anything about mary's "audition". what i will say is that she's crazy, delusional, stupid, idiot, moronic, and she sucks on a hung/keith level. just AWFUL. i'm done.

42 made it through. that's right - 42! that song in the end was breakaway (had to do some searchin' to find that out...) written for kelly clarkson, and performed by her and avril lavigne, among others. kelly's awesome.